we_got_the_call_gay_adopting_a_baby_south_africaAfter an agonising 10-month wait, it finally happened. This week we got “the call.” The call we were hoping and waiting for. The call that would change our lives forever. The call that would make hubby and I so incredible happy. The call that said we are now going to be a family.

When we started on our adoption journey in August of 2013 we entered into the process being very optimistic. We soon learned that adoption is a very emotional process, fraught with pitfalls that one should navigate around with the greatest of care. I won’t lie and say that the process was easy because it was not.

We’ve had some fights along the way. Hubby and I have fought with each other. We have fought with our social worker. We have even fought with ourselves. Mostly, this happened out of sheer frustration and most of the fights hubby and I had were over stupid things that we now look back on going, “What the hell was wrong with us”.

The hardest part of the adoption process is not the screening, the psychometric assessments, the interviews, home visit or panel interview. The fact that adoption is not a cheap venture was also not such an issue for us. The hardest part of the adoption process is, after all is said and done and you are finally declared paper pregnant, the long wait. The waiting can kill you. Or possibly drive you nuts.

We’ve been paper pregnant since November 2013 and, to be honest, very few days passed since then that I didn’t think about whether or not our baby was born yet. Almost every single conversation between hubby and I included the adoption. So we did what we could to occupy our minds. We prepared the nursery, bought all the things we would need. We even had our baby shower in February this year.

It was like we were psychically willing our child into this world. We dreamed about babies. We noticed the gazillions of people with babies, gay and straight, in the shops and at restaurants. It’s weird how all of a sudden you see babies everywhere while you are waiting for yours. It’s like we were being tortured and tormented by the universe as we were reminded around every corner of that we were waiting for.

Then, on Monday, as I was heading to my Botox appointment, I got the call. Well, actually I got two. The first one was to inform me that we have a baby and the second one was to arrange for a meeting for the next day. As hubby’s Botox appointment was before mine I sent him a text that read: “Wait for me outside and under NO circumstances can you leave. This is important!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Hubby probably thought I discovered something online about our plastic surgeon that freaked me out. Or that I WebMD self-diagnosed with the Ebola virus again. But this time it wasn’t anything like that at all. (I haven’t self-diagnosed with a deadly exotic disease in ages). As I arrived at our surgeon’s office, hubby was waiting for me and was all, “Are you dying again” and I was like, “We are all going to die someday. You are stuck with me and I am going to live well into my nineties and you are not allowed to die before me!”

Then I told him the great news. He was in tears, which also almost made me cry, but I never do that in public. Very few people have ever seen me cry (it ain’t pretty people). It’s like my gift to society. You’re welcome.

We were overjoyed. After ten months we were finally going to be parents to a three month old little boy. As I started wrapping my brain around the idea, I was overcome with both excitement and utter terror. I mean, I’ve never had a baby. I’ve only changed a nappy once in my life and generally babies have scared me. Now I’m going to have one of my own. Will I know what to do? What if I fuck it up? What if I’m a bad parent? Can I afford all the therapy my child may someday need because he has an eccentric dad?

After freaking out, a realisation hit me. We’re not the first parents to go through this. All parents probably go through this with their first child. The sense that other people before me have similarly suffered gave me a sense of relief.

Also, our son is three months old and past much of the crappy and awkward baby stuff newborns go through. Yes, he’s still a baby and I’m sure we will have plenty of sleepless nights ahead but I plan on savouring and enjoying every second – even if I’m covered in baby poop at three o’clock in the morning and he won’t stop crying. I will so blog and Facebook that. With pictures.

Next week we’ll be fetching our son and I cannot wait. After the meeting we’ll have this afternoon we’ll be booking flights as soon as we find out our court date and time. It’s exciting times in our household. The cats and bunnies have no idea what they are in for. The whole lot of us will be sleep deprived. Our little zoo is now getting a little prince. He is the blessing that we longed for. I cannot believe this is finally happening. I. Am. So. Happy.

To read more about Pierre’s adoption journey click here.

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